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separation

by Simple Heart

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1.
june 03:07
you don't have to buy a house and fill it with my ghost. if you want to hurt like that my letter's in the post. you cry "wolf!" at sorrow, honey, but you find that no one comes. if we were born for running from it, baby, we were born undone. if sobriety were a song i'd give it mixed reviews at best, but i'd still sing along because it's supposed to bring me rest. you insist on chuckling, honey, 'til your dimples come unglued. im sorry if my frown offends you but your laugh is getting rude. i'm not hoping you will crumble, i just wanted you to know... a little rain could hasten something from the seeds that you have sown. and when you're down tiling in the field and you begin to homeward roam you might find all the storm was worth it and the prodigal is home.
2.
surrender 02:55
her hands still turn the wheel, i still spin like a carousel. i still feel her hands on me, what i don't feel hurts like hell. for every night i've slept there's six i've spent awake and sore. for every word i misspoke there's six bottles on the floor. surrender. her house is dark tonight, my hand still rings the bell. she told me stay away, and it seems i don't hear so well. surrender.
3.
it's been a long time coming but i've finally found the light while jesus was too busy fighting everybody's fight. i know it seems to you i've disappeared into myself, but that's just fine for 29 years sitting on your shelf. i know i've left a trail of death but i'll tell you that i'm proud of finding life in speaking things that i've never said out loud. so call me when you're pinned under that hope you say you've found, cuz i just know you've bought into the glitter of the sound. the ache in your breast, the constant unrest, ruining your heart... you're infirm inside, riddled with pride. find me if the shine wears off and breathing feels like hell, family turns to enemy and wishes you no well. cuz I know what it means to have a voice that is your own, but it sometimes takes a fire and a couple sticks and stones.
4.
i'm living states of substance, i'm hiding in the wings... where stillness fills the walls. the synaptic collusion of all these little things echoes in the halls. sometimes it's still a battle to vanish into air, sometimes i pay the cost. while i might turn to ether, your head is full of prayers to keep from feeling lost. wait for an answer while i got a passing cure. let me romance it, let me be sure. once in a while fate will come begging here walking a mile in exchange for a tear. i know it's hard to watch me wrestle in my head, i know it makes you ache to see the life you gave me become a source of dread, a phantom i can't shake. wait for an answer while i got a passing cure. let me romance it, let me be sure. once in a while fate will come knocking here asking a smile in exchange for a tear.
5.
it's the breaking of a bright and lonely sun to the commune of a falling man. although i've heard the buzzards falling to the song, you would tell me it's a sleight of hand. so here we go and all the last words that i earned, you would hide them in a tiny plan. and now we know that all the fullness of the tone would do harm to every aching brand.
6.
the flood 03:28
it's coming in although we've fenced it out. futile devices all at last will lose their clout. salvation waits if i can get to higher ground. i can't decide on going up or staying down. you see a raindrop and i see a flood. it's not an icon but an index of the sum. i'll take a moment and you'll take a bow. it's doubtful that i'm going to follow anyhow. the water is rising and there's nothing left to save. tomorrow's horizon looking ever like a grave. so when the dawn breaks and you come back down to find the wreckage of a man who drowned in his own mind... the solipsism that was sure to be a drought turned out a storm cloud that would fill and wash me out.
7.
lucky strike 03:49
i guess i wanted this to be my opening line- that you're still my one and only. i'd be lying if i told you that i'm fine, because i'm really feeling lonely and blind. i'm sure i'll wake to find some hope in holidays or a friend who will console me, but i prayed for a life that hasn't come my way and i'm thinking that it's two drinks away. spend an hour or so out with the moon and though he's looking fat and full, i know he'll consume. i've got to spare a skinny sorrow or two to keep my hopes high enough of reclaiming you. all this goes to say i'm wandering through and through, looking for my one and only in you. it's hard to think about you owning your own smile when i sold the one you gave me. maybe memories will do me for a while 'til i find another baby's to buy.
8.
i can't draw lines from where it starts to where it ends, and these cycles have defined me since the bottle's been my friend. today will mark the day i entered here without a will to be, a guilty plea, or an innocent's first shout.
9.
this is just a warning that the castle's crumbling down and if you can't stand what you see then please don't keep your king around. 10 years of alcohol have soaked into my heart, so if you feel like punishment then this is how it starts. it's a plot i've cultivated many times before 'til the tilling and the tending just became a dreadful chore. now i'm starving and can''t afford to eat and i'm bankrupted and broken up and begging at your feet. i never thought that i would stand to see the compromise of this love where i was living a fantasy that i thought i was above. perfection is a long way off, but the process starts today and i'm terrified of growing old before i'm on my way. so as the sun sets on the anchors of my youth, my only hope is that my sails are filled with winds of truth.
10.
this mad ontology, a faithful part of me that called me out and took me in, and left me as a squire on the mend: "you tilt at folly here, in dialogues of fear. there is no map, there is no path... there's nothing but our distance to the end."

credits

released March 5, 2013

All songs were written, performed, and recorded by Scott Baker, with the exception of Greg Davis appearing on drums on tracks 1, 3, and 4, Ryan Leclerc on bass on track 4, Katie Trautz plays fiddle on track 7, and track 2 co-written with Knayte Lander. Produced by Scott Baker and Knayte Lander.

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Simple Heart Vermont

Simple Heart is the musical endeavor that was birthed from the demise of a 30 year relationship with what was supposed to be salvation.

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